Weekend Musings #017

Instead of the Sunday scaries, let's talk about the Lent scaries because I know I'm not the only one... right?

Welcome to Weekend Musings! Almost every weekend, I share some thoughts, things I’m loving, and reading recommendations. I love writing this little series, and I hope you find a little something to take away!

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It’s February. I look back at January and simultaneously wonder how it’s already February and yet only February. Blink and you miss it; but also blink and you… don’t. January is such a weird month.

I had grand plans for decluttering and organizing the house in January. Those plans got derailed by a few things, especially (1) a long-suffering cold that swept through our house, one by one, and (2) an insatiable desire to write every time my daughter went down for a nap. Obviously, writing won every time over organizing the laundry room!

I did get the master closet organized, to my credit, and it was easily the worst of the projects to tackle. We have a reasonably sized walk-in closet, and it was filled to the brim with boxes and random stuff that just needed to be assigned a home. Truthfully, it was like that for months before I tackled it. Every time I looked at it, I was just completely overwhelmed and just could not get myself together enough to do it. I know they say the beginning of the year isn’t a magic reset, but for me there is something about the beginning of the year that resets my brain and gives me the motivation to actually do something about the things I’m overwhelmed by. Or, at least some of the things.

But now it’s February, and I look at this month and wonder where the motivation’s gone.

Maybe it’s Lent hanging over my head. I mean, Lent’s about to begin. As I write this, it’s two weeks from today. When this goes out, it will be only a week and a half away. I know many Catholics love Lent, but I am not one of them. I love the feasting seasons, the brilliant joy of Christmas and Easter! I love the steadiness of Ordinary Time, the drama of the Paschal Triduum, and the anticipation of Advent! But I do not love Lent. I think I can count one or maybe two times in the last ten years where I’ve been like, “You know what, bring Lent on, I need it.” The rest of those years? Forget it.

The more I think about it, the more I’m convinced it’s a “me” problem. I don’t like Lent because it costs something. There’s a vulnerability to Lent that I feel horribly uncomfortable with. And the recovering perfectionist in me hates that I can't ever seem to do my Lenten penance perfectly. Which yes, I know, that isn’t the point—but it feels like a personal affront when you’re a recovering perfectionist. The only way I can seem to cope with it these days is by looking at it as a season of spiritual decluttering. “Maybe spiritual decluttering will redeem my failed month of physical decluttering!” I say to myself, knowing full well that isn’t the point of Lent.

Is it obvious that I need Lent? We all need Lent, regardless if we love it, hate it, or feel somewhat middling about it. We cannot trod the spiritual life on our own, and Lent—perhaps more than any other liturgical season—shows us this very plainly. We must become increasingly dependent on Christ, or else we lose the whole point of it all. We lose the plot, so to speak.

Lent isn’t designed to suck all the joy and fun out of life. It’s designed to help us grow closer to Christ by going out into the desert with Him, and Christ wants us to experience a joyful, abundant life. I like to reflect on Psalm 51 around this time of year because it helps drive it into my silly, stubborn head that I do not need to hold God at arms’ length to have a good life (and really, quite the opposite). Cleansing doesn’t lead to misery; it leads to joy. This theme repeats itself multiple times throughout the Psalm:

Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Fill me with joy and gladness;
let the bones which thou hast broken rejoice.¹

Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and put a new and right spirit within me…
Restore to me the joy of thy salvation,
and uphold me with a willing spirit.²

Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God,
thou God of my salvation,
and my tongue will sing aloud of thy deliverance.³

If I had to wager a guess as to why cleansing leads to joy, all I can say is this: maybe when we let God cleanse us—i.e. remove the clutter and junk in our hearts that keep us from Him—we make space for His joy to take root and grow instead. Maybe the clutter and junk is keeping joy out.

Maybe Lent doesn’t have to be such a dreadful thing.

After all, the root of the word means “Spring”…

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What I’m currently loving:

1. King Cake! My husband hails from Louisiana, the land of Mardi Gras; and he’s introduced me to the delightfully tasty tradition of eating King Cakes during the season, which begins on Epiphany and lasts through Mardi Gras (the day before Lent begins). I made this recipe this year, but in previous years I’ve done this gluten free version that’s quite tasty.

2. Knitting. I’ve been click-clacking away at a baby blanket that I’m trying to finish in time for one of my best friends—she’s due with her first soon! Working on it has been a delightfully cozy activity in the evenings, though, and after years of crocheting, I’m having a fun time picking up knitting. I can’t do much at a time because I have carpal tunnel that I need to keep at bay, but progress is being made! P.S. if you could offer a prayer for my friend, that would be amazing!

3. Sheet pan dinners. Our oven has been broken for some time, and I’m happy to say it is now fixed. This has opened up vast horizons in the ways of baking and cooking, and I’m back to making my favorite sheet pan dinners. I made this one the other night (except without half the veggies because I could not find them at our local grocery store), and the seasoning mix for it was 100% so good.

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What I’m reading:

I feel like I read so many good essays on Substack this week, to the point where it was hard to pick three to feature here!

1. This past Sunday, Feb. 1, was the feast of St. Brigid of Ireland. I came across this essay by Paul Kingsnorth on how neo-pagans and secular progressives alike have tried to co-opt this saint for their own purposes, and what Christians can learn from it. It’s a fascinating read full of history and good questions. One tidbit that especially caught my attention: “Our supposedly secular contemporary culture runs on the fumes of its past Christian fuel, which is why all those neo-pagans have values derived from the Beatitudes. If you can’t abolish a saint, then, what do you do? Why, you remake her, in the shape of the new world you are building.”

2. “Children Deserve Nice Things” by E. Morgan was a fantastic read. I can certainly say that this is something that resonates with myself and my husband. We do not intend to forego having beautiful things in our home just because we have a small child (and probably additional children in the future). The author’s parting words at the end sum the whole topic up well: “If there’s one thing I hope to impart to you here, it’s this: don’t be afraid to give your children the pleasure of being exposed to nice things in your home. They deserve, recognize, and crave beauty as much as adults, because they are just as human.”

3. When I was at SEEK26, I had the pleasure of attending a talk on AI given by Fr. Philip Larrey, a professor of philosophy at Boston College. Well, this week Eliza Monts published an interview with him over on her Substack and it is absolutely fantastic. I highly recommend reading his thoughts on AI. So many great points, but one that stuck out in particular: “Don’t substitute yourself with an AI. It can’t make truly excellent, sophisticated analysis that only humans can, and I doubt it will be able to in the future. Only humans can craft an original recipe of reading and relating to a text, giving insight into the greatest points there in a way that’s artful and insightful.”

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Recent essays:

1. “Am I Too Academic for The Artist’s Way??” (paid)

2. Weekend Musings #016 (free)

3. A Vibes-Only Guide to Classical Music, Part I (free)

1. Psalm 51:7-8 (RSVCE)

2. Psalm 51:10, 12 (RSVCE)

3. Psalm 51:14 (RSVCE)