Weekend Musings #030
Life comes full circle, approaching pregnancy with a sense of agency, my first real foray into Shakespeare, and more.
Thirty?? I’ve done thirty of these already?? I’ve been back on Substack that long??
(thanks for letting me briefly freak out over that, back to our regularly scheduled programming)
Okay, here are this week’s bullet points:
Morning sickness has begun. It also had the audacity to trick me for a few days into thinking this time around there would be waves of nausea, instead of an ever-present, all-consuming nausea. WRONG. Things are going the way they did the first time around. We’ll see what happens as this pregnancy continues. Pray for me, lol.
Thankfully, my youngest sister is coming to stay with me for a few weeks and help out, because I do not think I could handle packing up our house AND taking care of my toddler AND dealing with morning sickness on my own. Literally could not be more grateful. It’s kind of funny because I was her age when my mom was pregnant with her, and I ended up basically running the house for a month and a half while my mom had to be on partial bedrest during her first trimester. And now she’s coming to help me while I’m in my first trimester. Life really does come full circle sometimes, doesn’t it?
On the flip side, my creativity hasn’t completely disappeared overnight like it did last time I was pregnant. If anything, it’s gotten stronger! This is a welcome surprise. My first pregnancy was truly a trial by fire in so many ways, and one of them was an absolute lack of ability to be creative because my brain felt like I was wading through pudding every time I tried to think. In spite of the nausea, my brain feels relatively clear this time around, and I’m actually feeling an urgency to create. I don’t know why, but it’s kind of cool and I will ride this wave as long as I can!
Not to ramble on and on about pregnancy-related things, but I’ve noticed an attitude shift in myself that I wanted to quickly reflect on. With my first, I felt like things were happening “to” me—and in all fairness, I look back and understand why. I was so sick for so long (and never dreamed I would be so sick while pregnant!), and we moved from PA to FL in the midst of it. I felt like I reacted to life for the majority of that time. This time around, I’ve been actively trying a different approach, one of agency rather than reactiveness: controlling what I can control, and accepting what I can’t. I’m hoping it makes a difference.
ICYMI: I started a new essay series! Over the next few months, I’ll be writing a series of essays on social media, modern life, and creativity. The first one is out—it’s a reflection of my own past decade with a smartphone, the toll it’s taken on my creativity, and why I have hope for my future efforts. You can read the whole thing here.
What I’m Loving
Still iced tea, I’m literally drinking this stuff nonstop! I’ve made two batches of decaf black, one of nettle, and currently on green. I wanted to make some blueberry iced tea but all the blueberry (or berry in general) teas have hibiscus in them, and I’m pretty sure hibiscus is a no-go in pregnancy, or at least early pregnancy? So there’s that. But the green tea with some honey thrown in is really hitting the spot.1
Daily walks. I’m trying to continue my very-well-set habit of getting outside every day and taking a walk. It’s been hard, and I feel like I walk SO SLOWLY because I just don’t feel good, but at the same time it’s so good to get outside and breathe in the fresh air.
I know this already made the list a couple weeks ago, but All Creatures Great and Small. I really love this show, guys!! It’s so charming and truly exactly what I need right now in my life. Can I go live in the Yorkshire Dales? I think I’d love it.
What I’m Reading
Books:
Finally about to finish The Medieval Mind of C.S. Lewis. Yes, I know this has been in three consecutive editions of the Weekend Musings. No, I will never shut up about how this book is seriously worth reading. I understand the man and his fiction (and his approach to theology, too) in a far better way. And I look forward even more to reading The Chronicles of Narnia to my daughter when she’s old enough, because now I have so much background context for his writing choices. It will be SO GOOD and SO FUN.
Seeking Persephone, by Sarah Eden. This was recommended to me by a friend who also loves the Emma M. Lion books. I’m halfway through and really enjoying it! Will give my full review once I’m done. Also, it’s the first in a series, which I’m super excited about.
Much Ado About Nothing, by William Shakespeare. This is my first “real” foray into Shakespeare, btw. I’m one act in so far, and really enjoying it! Granted, I watched the film adaptation with Emma Thompson and Kenneth Branagh a few years ago so I have the actors in my head while I’m reading it, so idk if that’s making it more enjoyable to read? But it truly is a really funny play, lol.
Essays/articles:
In all transparency, I’ve never read anything by Sigfrid Unset, but I read this week that her cause for canonization is opening up and I think that’s really cool! As an aspiring writer of fiction, I would love to see a saint who wrote fiction.
Georgi Boorman’s “So You Don’t Believe In Marriage” was a seriously moving read. I can’t give you a good one-sentence blurb on why you should read it. You just should.
If you want a convicting gut punch over your screen time, but in a poetic way, Hannah Cook does just that with “Sunday Screen Time Report.” If this doesn’t describe how I feel about Instagram these days, idk what does: “It feels like something I’m constantly trying to win back. // And then I wonder why I feel behind when I haven’t even started yet.”
Pride & Prejudice fans: If you, like me, have never taken any note of Mr. Collins reading Fordyce’s sermons to the Bennet sisters other than “wow this guy really is obnoxious,” Kelly Garrison’s latest essay “Jane Austen’s Perfect Girl” connects the dots and shows another layer to what Jane Austen is saying here. So interesting!!
It was when I wrote that. At the time of publication, I don’t want iced green tea ANYWHERE near me.
Thank you so much for sharing, Cecilia! I feel so honored!